How to overcome summertime chaos
Summer is supposed to be a carefree magical season where we make the memories of a lifetime with our families.š
Lovely intention. But summer can also leave you in an emotional frenzy, managing a revolving door of camp drop-offs and kitchen cleans-ups while your work piles up.
Summertime Chaos
This morning my little one refused to put on his bathing suit for water play day at camp. You can write that script in your head, so Iāll spare you.
But you can guess who won, and it wasnāt me.š
Not long after his camp drop-off, I did dishes, stepped on the legos that were *everywhere* and took the big kid to his camp. Then after 4 Ā½ minutes of productive work and messaging my doctor about nightsweats, I reversed this process starting at 12:30 (a ludicrous 3 hours later).
While I donāt think it has been āstudied,ā I can tell you personally and as a coach that āsummer anxietyā is a real thing. This Huffington post article agrees and is a great read.
My clients describe:
Less sleep
Increased tension
Missed workouts
Over-indulgence
Feeling scattered
Feeling ānot presentā
A low hum of guilt over work or kids, usually both
Increased symptoms of anxiety and/or depression
No wonder weāre all counting the days until school starts!
To help my clients get back to baseline and hopefully above it where they can thrive, I created a two-part strategy.
It was inspired partly by the nine elements of human thriving in Organize Your Emotions, Optimize Your Life, co-written by Margaret Moore, a total rockstar in the health and wellbeing coaching world. (She literally wrote the textbook and is such an inspiration).
My clients and personal experiences as a midlife, highly sensitive working mom inspired the rest.
Part 1: Start with Structure
To feel more grounded, bring more structure into your daily life. Structure helps us nurture the fundamentals ā for rest, nourishment and movement.
It also helps us tame the frenzy and boosts our ability to focus on getting the important things done. My kids are with me 86 hours/day but no responsibilities have been lifted.
Structure helps us manage energy, juggle zillions of things, and be more purposeful. It can limit energy sucks, like social media and grabbing food on the run.
Double down on structure if you struggle with executive function. The more you check off your list, the more youāll be motivated to stay on task, which tames that frenzy. See the pattern here?
Here are a few ways to incorporate structure, start with one then go from there:
Morning routine:
Each week here is different, so Iām clinging to my morning routine that includes water with electrolytes and inositol (calming for me), a morning walk with Rosie and a gratitude list. Plus this random daily planner I got because it is pink š has helped quiet my mind and be realistic about the day ahead. I love that itās holistic (self, work, family all in one place) and comprehensive (gratitude, water, meals, schedule).
Meals:
Just like during the school year, I meal-plan and grocery shop on the weekends for the week ahead. My friend Katie and I have been swapping easy/yummy/nourishing recipes. Itās getting me out of a cooking rut and keeping me from leaning too heavily on processed food. Iām not sure who found this recipe for Ginger Peanut Chicken with Coconut Rice but itās a new favorite and kid-approved.
Welcome:
Even when itās hot and sticky and you have 50 towels to wash, welcome all that arises with an open, curious heart and mind. This does not come naturally for many of us, but āimprovesā with practice and offers freedom from struggle.
Monitor:
This one is kind of out there, but you may relate. Last summer I was struggling with my weight and nothing seemed to help. Wearing a continuous glucose monitor helped me realize what was helping me (protein, fats, veggies, walking after meals) and what was leading to tight clothes and low energy (sweet potatoes, oatmeal, napping after lunch) and how to minimize the effects. I personally use Nutrisense. It doesnāt require a prescription, provides interpretation from a registered dietician and you can check your blood glucose on your app any time you wish. Iāve got a few codes to save $75 on your first month. Just email me at honor@honorhawkins.com to let me know you are ready to start monitoring and Iāll send one your way!
Reset:
Take 5 minutes for the free Wellbeing Mini Reset. Once you welcome what is, itās easier to mindfully reset and shift to a more optimal state or action.
Part 2: Invite Delight
If structure helps tame the frenzy and help us feel grounded, delight makes life worth living!
Choosing delight boosts our chances for flow, which is the ākey to optimal well-beingā according to the father of flow, Mihaly Czikszentmihaly.
Delight enhances creativity and helps give meaning to life. In combination with healthy habits and structure, it provides a more joyful path to meeting our human potential.
Here are a few suggestions to help you invite more delight in your life.
Reflect:
How can I invite more delight into my life? You know what brings you delight, so go do more of whatever that is.
Choose:
As part of your morning routine, choose how you want to show up today. Whole hearted? Present? Energized? In flow? This is personal to you and may change every day or be the same intention for you years. When you choose (to the extent that you can while welcoming the rest), delight can show up in tiny and big ways.
Listen:
Listening to music, audiobooks or podcasts brings delight to a work deadline or kitchen clean-up. I heard this playlist at one of my favorite local bookstores, the Village Bookseller, and instantly fell in love. I love this one for cozy work sessions.
Indulge:
Food, art, beauty, flowers, whatever, just keep the dose healthy and the energy joyful. I love @breathing.room.home on insta for inspiration and soothing.
Read:
Along with several bookish clients, I started Pretend Book Club because reading can be such a source of delight. Apologies for the (ironic) sportsball reference, but summer is like our Super Bowl! A few highlights (please share yours with me)
Five Star Weekend, the queen of summer, Elin Hildebrand.
Same Time Next Summer, Annabel Monaghan. Met her at a book reading in June and she is witty and warm, a total delight.
Daughters of Nantucket, Julie Gerstenblatt. Julie is the sister of a college friend and Iām just giddy at her achievement and gorgeous way with words.
Hello Stranger, Katherine Center. Out July 11 ā pre-ordering is one of the best way you can support your favorite authors.
Do I still crave the routine of the school year? Absolutely. But structure and delight have helped me get this far. Iām pretty sure Iāll make it to August 23 with most of my sanity in check.
Canāt wait to hear how you use structure and delight to help overcome the chaos of summer. DM me on insta and share what supports you most!
Self-Reflection
What are a few ways I can incorporate more structure and delight into my summer?
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